Finding my feet

In this rehearsal, I was working on a scene that takes place in the University Library, where Jen attends as a student. Because Jen struggles a lot with her anxiety and social anxiety, she likes to find quiet places to hide for a while. In the first vlog down below, I experiment with staging, planning the transition into the next scene, and discuss the similarities between this scene and my own experiences with anxiety.

Further into my rehearsal process, I realised that the scene would work better with two boxes as opposed to two chairs. This is because I am already using boxes as part of the set, therefore, I felt that having chairs among the boxes would just make the set look messy. If the set is made up entirely of boxes, it will look more purposeful.

This scene shows how Jen’s social anxiety affects her when she is at University. I did some more research into social anxiety to see how common Jen’s type of behaviour in relation to her social anxiety is. This is to make sure that people watching my show who have social anxiety will be able to relate to Jen in this scene. Typical traits of social anxiety include an individual being shy when meeting new people, quiet when surrounded by a group of people, and being withdrawn in unfamiliar social situations (Stien and Stien, 2008). 'They crave the company of others, but shun social situations for fear of being found out as unlikable, stupid, or boring. Accordingly, they avoid speaking in public, expressing opinions, or even fraternising with peers.' (Stien and Stien, 2008). These are traits shown by Jen in my show. She hides in the library to avoid talking to people, she is afraid of sounding like an idiot, and she avoids spending time with her friend as she believes that she is an inconvenience.

In the second vlog below, I experiment with a scene transition and explore the meaning behind the transition and how I can effectively carry out this transition.

I think that showing Jen at University and walking through a crowded hallway is important because it shows her struggles with social anxiety as well as GAD. I wanted both of these types of anxiety to be visible in the show. The fantasy battle transition between scenes lets the audience see inside Jen’s imagination. They get to see her internal struggles and how she uses her imagination to cope with these struggles. By keeping with the playful, fantasy theme, it shows Jen in difficult situations without being too dark. The final vlog below is a rehearsal of the beginning of this transition.

Further into my rehearsal process, I developed this transition to focus more on the fantasy theme. In this original video, the transition looks more focused on dance movements. The meaning behind the transition is not clear. Therefore, I decided to go along with the idea I had of Anxiety telling Jen that it is time to go to class. Jen packs her stuff up and stands up. She backs upstage, mentally preparing herself. She tells herself that she can do it and that there is nothing to be afraid of. She bounces on the balls of her heals, as if preparing for a fight. This theme runs through the show as in Jen’s fantasy world she is a knight. Then, she battles her way through the crowd, jumping and dodging people. After this, she runs up to one of the boxes, briefly hides behind it, and then moves it to the other side of the stage, followed by the other, in preparation for a later scene. She also hides her face with the box whilst she is moving it and hides her face when walking into the next scene, which is in her bedroom. This is to show how uncomfortable Jen is when she is in public.

Bibliography

Stien, M. B. S. a. D. J., 2008. Social anxiety disorder. The Lancet, 371(9618), pp. 1115-1125.