Battling the current

The tower grows closer. A cold wind claws at my face. I struggle with my oar as the waves rise higher and faster. My little boat creaks and groans but she doesn’t falter. Not far now. Just a bit further.

Every once in a while in my creative process, I would become very stuck. I would run out of ideas. I would feel uninspired. Some days, walking out of that studio after getting very little done, would feel like a walk of shame. It scared me. How would I finish blocking the show when my mind felt so blank? What was I doing wrong?

I did some research into creating solo work, to learn some devising techniques and what to do when you become stuck. I found a book called Creating Solo Performance by Sean Bruno and Luke Dixon, which had a lot of helpful advice and techniques for creating solo performance. One thing I have noticed within my rehearsals is that I would become frustrated very easily when things didn’t work out straight away. I felt the need for everything to be perfect straight away. I think it was this perfectionism mentality that was preventing me from creating. If it didn’t work out, I was afraid to keep creating, because it would not be perfect. ‘Don’t feel that when you create a scene or character that it has to be perfect immediately. The work has to be before it can be perfect. Don’t worry about showing work that you feel is imperfect. As long as you have made it the best that you can, you will learn from its sharing.’ (Bruno and Dixon, 2015).

One part I was particularly stuck with was a moment in the show where Jen is feeling anxious and struggling to leave her bedroom. I was unsure exactly how to show this. I originally had the idea that Jen would deliver a monologue about how she was feeling. However, I realised that Jen already has a few monologues in this show, so it might get a bit repetitive, causing the audience to lose interest. It might also slow down the pace of the show. Therefore, I decided to create a short physical movement section that depicts Jen feeling anxious and struggling to get out of her room. I decided that having emotional music over the top of this, it will make the scene more impactful. By showing not telling, it helps keep the audience engaged. The scene is also quite dark, and if it were a monologue, it would be a very dark monologue, which is not the feeling I wanted for the show. It would be too triggering for audience members who potentially have a form of anxiety disorder. By showing not telling, it stops the scene from becoming triggering. The situation is inferred, rather than shoved down the audience’s throats. 'If you’re stuck, try something new. If you’re character is sitting still, have them mop the floor. If they are building a bookshelf, have them sit still. Sing a song. Write a letter. Take a photograph. Don’t be afraid of arbitrary actions, they can be powerful starting points.’ (Bruno and Dixon, 2015).

An exercise that I found particularly helpful from Creating Solo Performance was called Memory Box. For this exercise, you put all your ideas, notes, photos etc. into a box. You can even put in objects that inspire you. Whenever you feel stuck in your creative process, bring out the items from the box, and use them as keys to move forward. Some things may transfer to the script, whereas others will simply sit as inspiration (Bruno and Dixon, 2015).

From this exercise, you can progress and put all your notes pages onto a large piece of paper. Then you can move them around to sit how different moments in the performance come together. Then, you will be able to see what is missing. Do your notes clearly represent what you want the audience to see?

Underneath are pictures of my memory box. This came in handy whenever I felt stuck with creating my show. I included notes, a timeline of events in the show, sticky notes with moments in the show, and images that inspired me in my creative process.

Underneath are the photos from my Memory Box. Some of them are photos from previous holidays. When I was feeling uninspired, I looked back through photos on my phone as I have visited quite a few castles! This would come in handy when creating Jen's fantasy world. By using my own photos, it made them feel more personal. They helped me visualise places and moments that happen in the show.

I took this photo on holiday in Wales. It is an art installation at Conwy Castle, which depicts medieval knight helmets, swords, and shields. They are piled high, with a crown resting on the top. This helped inspire me to create a moment in Jen's fantasy world, when she tells us the story of what happened to Princess Maisy. She is trapped in a tower with a group of knights watching over her. Some of the knights sadly perish while battling The Sea Serpent. This art installation feels like a tribute to fallen knights, which inspired my creative process.

I took this photo at Chillingham Castle in Northumberland. I included this photo in my Memory Box because I love the medieval looking interior of the room. It also inspired me when creating the storyline about the tower in Jen's fantasy. Jen describes it as a place of darkness and despair. It is remote and guarded by a Sea Serpent, so perhaps many years ago knights perished here. They may have been trapped in the tower, unable to leave because of The Sea Serpent. Their belongings could still be in the tower, like in the photo. You can see gauntlets, weapons, and drinking horns, which may have belonged to the knights who perished in the tower.

I took this photo at Penrhyn Castle, in Wales. This photo inspired my creation of the tower. It is big, dark, and very foreboding. Obviously, in Jen's fantasy the tower is not surrounded by glorious sunshine as seen on the photo!

I took this photo at Chillingham Castle in Northumberland. It shows a spinning wheel, which reminds me of the fairy-tale of Sleeping Beauty, in which a maiden pricks her finger on a spinning wheel and falls into a death-like sleep. The maiden is often depicted as being kept inside a tower. This inspired me to create the setting for Princess Maisy's entrapment. The window in the photo could be a frequent place for Princess Maisy to stand and look out, waiting to see if help has arrived.

I took this photo of fantasy books when I was thinking about the type of book that Jen would read. It quite liked the idea of Jen being a bookworm. It would make Jen's fantasy world make more sense, as her fantasy world has many whimsical, adventurous and medieval elements to it. When looking more at the photo and thinking about Jen in the real world versus Jen in the fantasy world, I decided to make Jen an avid reader of fantasy and adventure books, as this correlates with her fantasy world. I wanted the set to include lots of books and I wanted some of them to be set up like the photo shown above. The books used in this photo are Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson, The Hobbit by J.R.R Tolkien, The Earthsea Quartet by Ursula Le Guin, and The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer. The book on the top is a notebook, waiting to be filled with Jen's stories. Jen's fantasy world features inspiration from these books. It is full of adventure, magic, and monsters! They all make Jen who she is. Despite being afraid of a lot of things, Jen has a wild spirit, a boundless inner child, and longs for adventure.

Bibliography

Dixon, S. B. a. L., 2015. Creating Solo Performance. 1st ed. New York: Taylor & Francis group.